MrFabulous
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Name: Dennis


Interests: tennis cooking anime the oc, football throwing, sleeping
Expertise: being me. too much of me sometimes


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AIM: LiLaZnNiCeGuY


Member Since: 11/17/2003

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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Gotta stay active...with whatever you're doing otherwise you'll fall out of it completely. It happens easily so it's important to keep the flow, the energy of the thing so it doesn't "die".

Mind
Body
Soul


Tuesday, September 01, 2009

There's a lot of ways of doing things...so far in my way up to this point, I've done things in terms of feeling frustrated trying to gain something which does not come, now, I realized that besides being frustrated and driven by the pressure of not progressing...I feel happy, which doesn't make sense...I want to progress now I guess because its a way of improving...bettering...and now here I am posting what just happened. I still don't know what I want to do...but I know what things I like.

Can you be honest with yourself?


Sunday, October 19, 2008

You know, I go and read through and look and think about my past and everything that I've experienced and done and really WOW, I just laugh and just reminisce about it. Whether it was deemed a good or a bad experience it was just a moment in my life. I mean I look back at how things were done and how I feel now. I don't think about what should have been done because that's just a waste of time instead I really think of what I can do now. And it feels freaking great. I really feel like I've become a lot more aware of the things I do or say, and feel, especially feel. Not only my actions but the interactions and things that are around me. I just can't help but feel really good inside, you know have that good good feeling. I'm pretty good with the way things are going.


Friday, October 17, 2008

All is one and one is all.


Tuesday, October 14, 2008

You know,  I've gone back and reread some of the things I've said, at first I was embarrassed, because it sounded so dumb, the next time I was annoyed a little for not really understanding (what was happening in my life, the "lessons" being taught about life, me forgetting it,) and really now I just laugh. Now I can see the innocence in it, really, the playfulness in it, whether it was the times I deemed good or bad in that moment. When things feel strange and not so good, I really have to ask myself why is it not? Yes there will be times when I will struggle and times when I will not, when I remember my past there lies the truth. There will be good and bad times. It's hard to take in as I keep going with life and I feel like you know, things don't always have to be bad. I want them to just be good. And so I fight with both ends, never wanting to stop the happy feelings and always wanting the bad feelings to go ASAP. And when really, things look like they can be okay if they're just in the middle. Yes you don't know whats good until you know whats bad and now well I just want the good. But really is the good all that great? Where's the middle of this scale and what is that? Stoic? Emotionless? Robotic? No feelings? What is this, happy sad angry. They're all feelings. If I did not have happiness I would not have sadness. If I didn't feel hate, would I not feel love? I think hate is strong, a strong word and I don't know what the other side of it is, but I do know that all of these things are feelings. And with things feelings that come from out of nowhere except in me, my soul and heart that is something real. No feelings means an empty being. Do I want that? Can I even attain that if I wanted to? I really am just going through my process.

To not break out, to just let my thoughts continually flowing constantly going. I stop myself from doing that, afraid of what comes, or really not knowing what will come of it without actually ever experiencing it, just glimpses of it.  SAying I don't kno wsets up a negative attitude when more like I will know is more true to what I mean.  Lal alalal



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